Yellow as Chinese

流星 作詞：鄭鈞　演唱：鄭鈞
我想知道　流星能飛多久
它的美麗　是否　值得去尋求
夜空的花　散落在你身後
幸福了我很久　值得去等候
於是我心狂奔　從黃昏到清晨　不能再承受
情願　墜落在你手中　羽化　成黑夜的彩虹
蛻變　成月光的清風　成月光的清風
我縱身跳　跳進你的河流　
一直游到盡頭　那裡多自由
我許個願　我許個願保佑
讓我的心凝固　在最美的時候
情願　墜落在你手中　羽化　成黑夜的彩虹
情願　不再見明媚的天　不再見明媚的天
幸福　跳進你的河流　一直游到盡頭　跳進你的河
我許個願保佑　在最美的時候　我許的願　
我想知道　流星能飛多久　幸福了我很久

So addicted to the lyrics of this song. I thought Yellow was beautiful in English but this translation has me just transfixed.

Germans!

Ivan: Remember the scary movie back in the day? With the fluffy creatures that touch water and turn into monsters?? What is it called?.... Oh oh! Germans!

GERMANS?!?!?!?!

If yo ass fat, chew fat!

If you fuck up, Imma hit chew with this bat!

I'm not gonna hold their fucking hands like you see in other shows and I'm not gonna sit down and cry wit'chew, fuck that. You be cryin' at that damn table when you stuffin your fat ass face.

HEEHEE.

Practice.

How da hell can I make my teammates better by practicin'?!

BHAHAAHAHA!

Ivan puts Baobao (white hamster) up to his nose to say hi.. and all of a sudden...

Ivan: YELP!! HE BIT THE TIP OF MY NOSE!!!!

The Sunshine in my Life

I got this msg from SJJ on facebook, and it just made me so happy. I miss Marc. If I could grow up and just take care and love children, I would be the happiest I could be.

so today i had this conversation with him:
Me: Marc, say 'I love mummy!'
Marc: I love mummy!...love daddy!...marc love grandpa! and gong gong!
......love mah-mah!....love grandma!
Me: Do you love Ma-Ma Hai (a very dear aunt of mine)?
Marc: Yes....and love Aunty Brynn!!

It's Showtime

Lately I've started to feel like I'm cracking a little. I question everything I do and my capabilities. Am I really able to go through with it? Am I really able to handle everything? I know the promises in the bible, but do I believe them? Do I really believe that everything that has been given to me is not beyond my scope? I walk into school and instantly feel choked on the acrid air of stress and disease. I ask myself if what I'm doing in the hospitals is helpful. I ask if I'm ready to walk into the belly of the beast in the hope that I will find the exit. I don't know the answers, and I'm quite ready to revert to sufferance in lieu of hope. I'm so distressed by school, and distressed by the thoughts running through my head. Maybe that's why I stay indoors so much. I just don't want to go outside. There's nothing worthwhile for me to pursue at this present moment. I have no driving force, no sunshine, no crutch.

I'm starting to feel very very handicapped. I'm starting to feel myself retch everytime I think about schoolwork and exams. I'm starting to sense complete and utter fear that rips through my mind during the sleepless nights. Can I really handle this?

And this epilepsy thing. I wish it had never happened. I don't want it. Take it away, cut out my brain, whatever. I DON'T WANT IT. I DON'T WANT IT, AND I DON'T WANT MY MEDICATIONS, AND I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR ANYMORE BLOOD TESTS OR BRAIN SCANS. I DON'T CARE IF I DIE.

Boobs - How to get them.

Very useful for someone like me. Unfortunately, it gives me the extreme heebie jeebies to watch this.

Indian Gone Wrong

The Good and The Bad

I had 3 dreams last night. It was horrible. I woke up from the first one crying, woke up from the second one with a shout and woke up from the third one practically tearing my hair out. There was a signal of distress that ran through all of the three dreams that tore my soul into pieces. I don't know what was going on the night before that made me so upset but somehow I just ended up waking up all through the night, wanting to cry and really horribly depressed! It's not normal. The kind of terror you face in your dreams is always tenfold what you feel in real life, and so when I was depressed and on the verge of tearing my flesh into pieces, it was an anguish that tore into my bones and made me want to really end it all. Imagine waking up to that. 3 times in a night! 3 different dreams, 3 separate stories, 1 feeling!!! Something was seriously seriously wrong.

Marc

I promise to love you with all my heart, and I will be there as you grow, and I will spoil you and love you like no other auntie, so if you promise that I'll be your favourite aunt on daddy's side, that'll be more than enough for me :)

And meimei too, of course, couldn't have one without the other.

Aunty Brynn misses you so much, and expect something in the mail soon just for you, okay?

Lots and lots of kisses!

KD Lang - Crying

I Understand

Chae,

I know what you mean, and I know what you're feeling. I know what you're going through, and I understand everything you're saying. It's as if I were saying it myself, just in a different context. I feel you, and you're not alone. You know I am always here. I can share your pain, and I do. You're not in this alone.

And something better is on the way, I know it is. Something better is on the way because there's no way it's the right time for all this to be happening. It'll be as if a dream upon awakening. When this is all over, we'll look back and be relieved that we didn't give up here, okay?

It's hard. I walk the streets and sometimes I just have to sit down by the roadside and cry too. I don't even understand why, but I do.

And I was right. You are volatile. Try not to hurt yourself too much and I will do the same. Same reaction, different problems. But I have the exact same fears that you do. But she will make it through.

What do you do when you see a loved one just fall apart in front of your own eyes?